i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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