I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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