david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
