You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
