singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize