im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
His nipple licking is glorious
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