You work out of a Hotel?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
