I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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