I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
