He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
