I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
