you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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