READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You pole danced in your parka.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
