the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
