This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
