do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
