i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
