you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
