Someone shit on the floor
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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