she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
