Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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