4 words: hood of his car
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
