i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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