you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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