thus making me awesome and them whores
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
