i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
