Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
