The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
