I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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