My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
