Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
