And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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