Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
