I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
