I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
