he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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