Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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