they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
