Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
