maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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