You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
