ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
