I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
