i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
