i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
should my penis look like a turkey
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
