i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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