Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
