she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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