Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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