I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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