For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
